Woodstock comes but once a year, bearing nights of endless drinking, loud rocking music and bizarre and meaningless occurrences that you will not fully understand when you are old and grey, or join the circus for a while.

September 30th was that time of the year, where 10,000 young and old South African music lovers pack their baked-beans-in-a-fire destroyed tents, stained mattresses, portable braai’s (barbeque for you non-South African folks) and Marie biscuits (good when you're drunk) and head down to some remote and bushy camping resort to sit in the sun and fall into empty river beds (3 times!) with new and old friends.

So the story is that you arrive on Friday, organise for some sorry sober person who has a heart too big for their chests to put up your tent while you crack open what will be your last ice cold beer of the weekend (temp’s reaching 30 degrees-in spring!!), then you start navigating your way around the area. On our first walk about we met an elderly man pushing an old VW kombi (yes with peace signs)… we helped him push while his wife, with a moustache, pumped the accelerator in her Wellingtons. The car started and he told us that the wisest wisdom he could ever give us is that “every tree is a lavatory”. Wise old guy as we found out later.

The days pretty much went on like this, wake up at noon, get dressed, walk around and grab breakfast, speak to weird strangers and then settle down for the evening in front of the stage. Later one day we bumped into the very popular SA band TWEAK when I almost reversed into a porta-potty- Shot for helping me out my space… but listen here, I’m still in the Woodstock mode and talking a load of shit… lemme get to the music stuff before you lose interest.

Because of my incredible foresight, and sneaking into places we were not allowed to be, I ended up in one or two of the bands changing rooms... I think I shall be a groupie in my next life. I don’t want to get too sentimental on all of your asses but I was in awe… until security pulled me out... then I was just pissed off. Anyway, these guys arrive there with one thing in mind... to totally rock out for the fans that love them. This one guy was throwing his guitar around like it was on fire. Let me highlight a few of my favourite performances so you can go download the songs.

RUNNING WITH SCISSORS, an all girl band that absolutely blew me out of the water. These girls are super hot and have enough stage presence to make up for every pop idol performance in the world. Caroline Hillary the lead singer threw her bikini clad body all over the stage while men climbed the railings in the front. You guys have a new fan over here!

Another much more mainstream band that is not so much rock, but more mainstream something or other, the FINKELSTEINS, have taken a lot of shit from the SA audiences because of a certain really bad song that they were paid to sing and that everyone hates. Well, they came out and gave an absolutely rocking stage performance...all three of them. They are such awesome guys and although some of their music is bubble gum like, they still pulled a hell big crowd. Props to you guys...you make me laugh.

But the main act by far, and in fact has been for as long as I can remember is definitely WONDERBOOM (pronounced Von-duh-Boe-M). These long time South African rockers are absolute legends. Absolutely went mad in his leather pants and newly acquired Mohawk and even those hard ass punks were spotted air guitar-ing (ha-ha) to the music. WONDERBOOM is the South African epitome of what music should sound like and look like...when I die...I want to come back as Martin "Cito" Otto!

Other notable names that I have to send props to:

THE SLASHDOGS, this band never ceases to amaze me with their music...this is a band that any rocker can enjoy. They are all amazing musicians and definitely know what they are doing! If you feel like supporting a new band, look for them.

FUZIGISH- wild wild wild!!!! Mad talented! If the earth was flat, they’d rule it!

THE HELLPHONES- these guys just rock my world and I would happily sell my car, house and dog just to follow them around and write their life stories- best newcomers EVA!

Woodstock7 was just an absolute mindless blast and I am still blowing dust out my nose and retrieving items of clothing from bushes! If you think outside of the box what-so-ever and are a true ROCK MUSIC follower, you will spread your horizons and make a trip to SA for Woodstock 8 next year...if that’s a bit of a broad horizon to venture towards, go get the Woodstock CD! I’m sure if you apply yourself and go onto Amazon.com you will find it there.

This is quite a hectic thought, but just think about this for a second. If you look at bands like the rolling stones, ACDC, the Ramones and newer bands like the hives, white stripes, the Killers bla bla bla...how is it possible that they can only come from 2 countries?? Other countries do not have the infrastructure yet to support really amazing bands, like here in South Africa, so if Europeans and American’s began digging in smaller countries for musicians, you will be shocked with what you find. These guys are really good. So take a chance and rock out with your cock out!

Heads up to Authentic Ideas for organising us such a cock rocking Woodstock. You guys know how to throw a party!! Props to all the bands for coming to the table! And thanks to Jess and rock pulse, for allowing me to THROW your name around a bit at Woodstock to get exactly what I wanted!!! And to my dear friend JEN-itals, who rocked to all the music with me, GOOD FORM!

But lastly, a little black midget on a BMX expelled these valuable words to me while he was chasing a naked girl... “Don’t pick the green bubble gum... it’s not ripe yet...”

Good story my friends, good story!

Check out these web pages for bio’s or CD’s!!

www.runningwithscissors.co.za
www.wonderboom.co.za
www.woodstock.co.za
www.theslashdogs.co.za
www.sovent.co.za/mpcharts.htm for South African MP3 downloads. It's worth it!

SUPPORT THESE SUPER HEROES!!