This is probably going to be very long, so I apologise in advance. I couldn’t think of anything for ages after jess asked me to write an article. But this just popped into my head as I read one of the others, so I guess it should go up here somewhere...

From the day I started school, my life sucked. In fact, my life sucked before I even started school. I mean I had some really great times when I was little. But so much of my life sucked like hell. I was that kid that never fitted in. I was the easy target for bullies and it was always those girls who were the really bad bullies. Nothing I did ever seemed ok. I had friends, but as soon as someone said something nasty, all my friends would disappear. I tried to fit in, I joined clubs with them, and it would be ok till they got bored of me and then I was the sad loser again. I ended up being a tom boy for most of my primary school life and I would hang out with the lads, I was very sporty and joined the football team (not that I was actually any good) I have found that lads don’t tend to be as nasty as girls. And one time when I was playing footballs with the lads and I fell over on the playground, they picked me up and carried me to the medical room. Girls would have just laughed at me. What made it worse was the fact that the teachers knew I was not fitting in. All through school the girls in the class (including me) would be taken aside at break times and have talks about how bad bullying was, it was never directly pointed out to be because I was being bullied, but we all knew it was. I was always made to feel the worst off, cus these girls didn't really care and they would just be annoyed cus they were being told off again and missing a break time. My worst year was in year 6 when I used to come home almost every night and just sit in my room and cry. All I wanted was to fit in and be liked by people. I thought this was how my life was going to end up being forever. I had made "friends" with this new girl, but she just used me. She was nasty to me when other people were around, but as soon as she hadn’t got anyone else to talk to or play with, we were best buddies. And this is how my life went on for another year.

I went to high school, and still ended up hanging around with boys because I just didn't fit in. There was a period of time where I would link up friends with a girl or group of girls. But these friendships were always short lived. By the end of the week they would be bored with me, or I’d have done something wrong and they just couldn’t hang out with me anymore. It was towards the end of year 8. There was this girl in my science class, she always sat at the front with her friends, and one of her friends was always top of the class, and I sat with a load of lads, and one day I saw that this girl had that Harry Potter book, I had read something about it in the newspaper (yes I read the newspaper... what else are you meant to do while eating breakfast in the morning?) I asked her about it, and she told me they were amazing books, so I went out and bought them, they WERE really amazing, and I started talking to this girl about them and we became friends, and I started hanging out with her and her friends. This group consisted of, Jess, who was the leader of the group. If something had to be said to the entire group, then the sentence was always aimed at Jess. Lauren was the one with the Harry Potter book. Jo... Jo was really kind and nice. Liz, who had a horse and could get away with murder. And sometimes Sarah, who would hang out with us when she didn't have anyone else to hang out with.

Life was starting to look up. I didn't have to hang out with lads anymore. I felt I had real friends. I don’t think I laughed so much ever. We had so much fun and I felt like I had somewhere to fit in finally. I went to this youth club out of school and the group started coming to that as well, we started sitting in the back room with a CD player and all of us just hanging out there listening to music and laughing our heads off. School still sucked a lot. The rest of my group of friends was in one tutor group and I was alone in another, where I didn't fit in. But when I was with my group of friends, everything was cool. There was "the Buffy phase" where most conversations were about Buffy the vampire slayer, and we all bought lots of Buffy merchandise. Then the purple phase, where jess got really into the colour purple, and so when her birthday came around I gave her a load of purple things. We are still affected by these "phases" today. I am going to be filming a remake of a Buffy episode, which the remaining group are going to act out. Along with some new friends we have picked up over the years. And Jess still has a thing for the colour purple. (I’m surprised this website isn’t purple)

I had seen the offspring’s "Pretty Fly For a White Guy" performed on TFI Friday (does anyone remember that?) and I went out and bought that single. It was played constantly for a while. Then I got bored and I didn’t have the Internet at that time. So I didn't bother trying to find out much about this cool band. Then I saw adverts for Sum 41’s album "All Killer No Filler" on TV, and they were on TOTP so I decided I should maybe buy their album... it didn't come out of my CD player for months! I knew all the words off by heart and what order they were on the CD. Before these CDs I didn't really buy CDs and didn't really listen to music. It was all boring pop music to me, and it didn't really interest me. I also bough savage garden’s "affirmation" and listened to that a lot too. But enough of that... on with this very long story... I haven’t even got to the main part yet!

During the summer holidays between year 10 and 11, I went over to visit Jess and we spent most of the days watching the music channels. Nothing really stuck out on it. It was all rock music stuff and it was cool. But nothing really stuck out till Bowling For Soup’s "Girl All The Bad Guys Want" was played. I dunno what it was... but I really liked this song. This was the day my life changed. When we went back to school I asked Jess about the band, and I went on the net to find out more about them. (yes I finally had the internet and was taking full advantage of it) I got their album, and I started posting on what is now their official message board. I found out loads of information about them. I started buying cool clothes and listening to more music like this. In October time, when I had just missed out on one of their UK tours, and this competition from their record company was posted up on the board. You could win the t-shirt worn by the girl in BFS’s "Emily" video, which had been signed by the band. I entered the competition and forgot all about it. I carried on listening to cool music and I formed this new personality... I call it the "don’t give a shit" persona. It was very useful in tutor. I just didn't give a shit what people thought of me anymore. And all of a sudden... I felt better about myself. I had been very shy because I didn't want people to be nasty to me. Or think wrongly of me. But now that I didn't give a shit I felt a lot happier.

In December. My phone rang. I was sprawled on the sofa with my cat on my lap and couldn’t be arsed to get up to get it. We have this "thing" in our house. If the cat is on your lap unless it is an emergency, you don’t need to get up. It’s great when you can’t be arsed to do anything. The phone stopped ringing. Then my house phone rang. I still lay on the sofa. It stopped ringing. My bother came down and told me off for not answering the phone. Then it rang again. So he picked it up and it was for me. Jess was on the other end. She asked if I had been on the net that night? I hadn’t. She told me that I had won that t-shirt from the "Emily" video. Fuck the cat... I jumped up, deposited the cat on the floor rather undignified-ly and ran into the computer room. I fell over on the slippery floor as I tried to stop by the computer. Turned on the computer and waited as it slowly booted up and slowly connected to the net. As is the way. My Internet was fucked up that night. I couldn’t access my email and I only managed to post one message aimed at the record company who had posted on the forum. This was middle of December. My birthday is December 22nd. What a kick-ass present! When a few days later my Internet worked properly the company PR lady, Emma, said she had posted it off, and she had added in a few other goodies for me since it was my birthday. Including a videotape with 2 versions of the video on, a signed promo album, and some different versions of the Emily single. it could take a while to get to me since it was Christmas and everything. It arrived 2 days before my birthday, but no one was in and it was kept at the post office. My parents went into town shopping and wouldn’t let me come with them because they wanted to get this package for me and didn't want me to open it. They forgot all about it in town and then it was the weekend and I had to wait till after my birthday to get this amazing present.

January came and went, and BFS came back to the UK in February, we went to see them at Wolverhampton, and I told Jaret I had won the t-shirt, and I was also going to another show on the tour, so Jaret being so lovely gave me backstage passes for me and my friends. That was probably the best night of my life so far. I had so much fun crammed at the front of the crowd in the mosh pit. Almost collapsing from dehydration. And listening to my favourite band live. What could be better? The next show could be! We arrived really early. We were meant to be meeting up with some people from the message board but never really did. We hung out backstage all day. I hung out in the dressing room of my all time most favourite band! And when the show started we went out the front and watched everything from the middle of the mosh pit. We met some other people from the message board and talked to them for a bit... and bought an awful lot of merchandise from the bands. I also took along a guitar strap and got everyone I possibly could there to sign it. Even Techies and so on. They guys from uncle Brian thought it was great. I had so much fun.

Jess wrote up a review of the day on the message board and the editor of www.justwannarock.com read it. He asked her to join the "team" and she did. I wanted in on the cool band stuff so I asked to join as well and was allowed the honour. Over the next few months. Jess and I contacted record companies, met and interviewed bands. Went backstage at concerts numerous times. Bought shed loads more "cool" clothes. I don’t have a single plain t-shirt left. They all have band logos on. My life got so much better. I felt I was now "cool" at school. People who wouldn’t talk to me normally would now talk to me. The way I dressed and looked and acted totally changed over a matter of months. And I can honestly say it was the best thing that ever happened to me. The editor of justwannarock got a bit lazy with putting stuff up on the site, so Jess and I decided to make our own site. Jess’ brother, who knows way too much about computers and the net, bought us a domain and this is how it all started. And how I hope it will continue for a long time to come!

I have met way too many bands to be able to name them all. I have had the most fun I have ever had over the last year. I have got into soooo many free concerts. I have found so much cool music out there. I love so much different stuff. When I went to that BFS concert last February at Wolverhampton. I was over the moon at meeting a band. If I had been told I would be meeting bands on a regular basis shortly after I would never have believed it.

Life is amazing. I want to thank Jess, the Internet, Bowling For Soup, ALL the bands we have met or been in contact with over the last year, anyone who reads this, and whoever it was that voted for bowling for soup’s video to be on when I watched it on the music channel for giving my life a purpose. These chance moments in my life have shaped me into the person I am now. I have changed so much over the last year and a half I would probably be unrecognisable to some people, but I would not change a single moment of my life. It has been the best adventure ever getting here. And I hope the adventure carries on going for a long time.

I guess the point to this VERY long winded story, is that there are moments in your life, which shape it, and they are the best things in the world!

I told you this would be long. And if you have got here, IOU 1 big hug for bothering to read my life story! Sorry it was so boring!

X Suzi X