November 21st, 2004 - Kirsty

Today I realised that life is a tricky business. A train crash in Barkshire, people probably just Christmas shopping and then about six have died. Just like that. I can't imagine how many people's lives would have changed. I also can't imagine how many people's lives have been changed due to THAT. Oh yeah, we're talkin' about the election - any American peeps? C'mon give me some views - Make me look important. I'm kidding. And a positive one; BandAid! Have you seen all the people they're putting in there? Ms Dynamite! Jamelia! Lordy. But then you think; Yes, Queen did rock, but is it about "traditional values" of the music, or is it what they all do to help. Now when we think about it... we're all for helping the needy and what it all stands for - but personal choice and taste always comes into it, right? Maybe it's just me being an asshole. But what they do and how they do it is an amazing thing. As you can tell I'm not preaching about anything in particular this... month? I've had so much fucking work! And I've got an enemy! Me! -- My Spanish teacher... ah fun... Anyway, there's times where you think "what's the point?" Not in a serious/depressed way but a philosophical point. And it goes really, really deep (Well, if you have as crap a social life as me) and sometimes, you'll feel kinda refreshed after, just kinda... thinking without a real outcome. Sometimes you gotta give the ole' brain cell a run-around :P Carrying on... Not only is life a tricky business, but being yourself in life. As much as we hate to admit it, we all have multi-personalties. They change when we're with different people. Well, I know ONE person who isn't like that, and she is amazingly nice, but very... honest. Ha. But, yeah, teachers, employees, people on the phone, friends, family, enemies. We all speak to them differently, act differently... we ARE different because we feel differently towards them all. And you'd think you can be yourself with friends and family, but really; you can't. Sometimes my mom calls me a nasty piece of work and threatens to kick me out because I'm acting like my aunt, "a nasty piece of work" and bitchy. My mom's great, but because she views her sister that way, and because apparently I'm like her sometimes, that's how she is to me when it starts. And it pisses me off because I'm being MYSELF. Then again... being yourself IS weird. What does it mean? Saying what you think, liking what you like... what? ... I think it's something you do without thinking... Haha, however that works. :P Yeah, as you can tell, I am a pretty confused and sad person right now :P So yeah, thank you very much for reading. Next time I will be sane! Sane as a sock I say. Laters!